Yes-No-Stop-Go!

 

Aren't they amazing, these tests and trails we are given? Yes, I said given. Handed to us for a chance to grow, mature, and strengthen our walk and relationship.

 This past week we had a heart breaker when Clay's MELD score rose to 26; 6 points above the level for a donor transplant. We were crushed and broken and it took us right to our knees looking to God for answers and peace and His will. It seemed like all Todd and I could do was pray and just be; do you know what I mean, When just being in the same room with each other is a comfort?  

It was only about 3 days but it seemed like 30. We petitioned all our prayer warriors to pray for God's will and the grace to endure each day for Clay, Linda, Todd and myself, and sure enough He showed Himself to be our Sovereign Lord and Clay's levels dropped; not just a slow steady decline, oh no, God dropped it 8 points!!! That's just the way He works.   

So here we are re-packed, re-scheduled and re-aligned; not that we had given up, we just thought it would be another week or two more before we headed to Stanford University Hospital. Even though we have not had the hard and fast direction of the Head Surgeon, we are prepared and waiting patiently, (ok, as patiently as I can) for the nod to load. I know that God's timing in this is the most crucial part, this journey from the start has been on God's terms, in God's time and in God's hands and Todd and I wouldn't have it any other way. This isn't just to refine Todd and Jackie and our daughters and Clay and Linda, but to all of the friends and families who are praying for us and all the people who we come in contact with; the people whose names we will never remember but heard the story of how God brought this all together. In His divine wisdom and Love, God brought two men back together that He may be glorified by the maturing of one's faith and the beginning of  the other's.

So we will just continue to take each day as it comes to us and praise the Lord for all of his grace, mercy and His precious unconditional love in the journey  He has for this everyday life.

 

Under Attack

How is it the more we pray and focus on glorifying God with our actions and our decisions the more Satan works overtime to trip us and tempt us to have a melt down, not one of your garden variety melt downs, a good old country girl fall apart….and trust me I am so qualified for this event!

I know that everyday I have to purpose to keep my focus on God and trust him, but oh boy there is about two times a day that I battle it. I battle the thoughts of fear, doubt and frustration. I really am tying to be strong. But at times the what-ifs get to me. Satan is such a pig.

Yeah, you heard me!

Clay has been getting worse and that is so emotional for us all. I pray for Linda, always, and try to be an encouragement to her. Clay and Linda are in Stanford now and will remain there.

I am marking off the days; each day has its own list. My lists make me laugh, whatever I don’t get done on one day, those items rolls to the next, yep, by the last day I will probably have a list as long as my leg cause I have had to roll things everyday.

We have done our taxes, signed the refinance papers (that was its own little fiasco) and Todd has done his last assignment in his college algebra. His final for algebra is the 25th and at that time, his 7 page finals paper for psychology is due (never know if I spelled that right or not). Todd will be taking all of April off from schooling, and will re-register (hopefully) when we return. He sure loves his schooling. In between studying and work, Todd has been trimming horses, hauling hay, and doing small repairs around the place. My awesome parents will be doing chores for us while we are gone; they are so good to us, and I know we will never be able to repay them for all they have done for us over the years.

Well each week or even each day of trials and struggles I know that there always something to learn, that is why I must praise God through these trials for it is maturing my walk, producing fruit. So I guess I shouldn’t try to avoid the bumps in this journey, even though at times I feel a fit a-coming-on, He knows my heart and He knows my needs and He is completely capable of providing it all. So instead, I’ll keep my head up and my focus and God and just watch Him work in this everyday life.

“When I am afraid, I put my trust in you.” Psalm 56:3 NLT

Another week gone by.

This past week Clay was put into the hospital in Alaska. His liver started to shut down and the Doctors worked continuously to get Clay's body to level out. I can't even imagine what Linda is going through, watching her husband laying in a bed that he may never get out of. Todd and I call as much as we can to encourage Linda and Clay. Clays mind is so affected by the drugs and the disease that He rambles on for hours about hunting and the days gone by.

I am starting to see the effects this is having on my husband, who is well known for his ability to not be stressed. It concerns me and I am now watching him closer and making him talk more about it. 

All of this causes me to spend more time praying for Todd, Clay and Linda.

This journey, I feel, will continue to become more and more stressful as the days go by. All the more reason to draw strength from our Lord and Savior. His ways are perfect and I will keep my focus on him each day of this everyday life.

San Francisco Trip # 2

What we are here for!

 

 

The flight to San Francisco was good, Todd enjoyed taking
pictures of the area he grew up….as we flew over the mountain ranges he could tell you right where we were. He amazing that way.

 

 

                               Pyramid Lake>


< Lovelock Nevada

This trip to Stanford University Hospital in Palo Alto California was another hard one; we had a lot of things to do, places to be and people to talk to. And God in His infinite wisdom always put someone in our path to witness to everywhere we went.  Sharing what God has and is doing for us is pure pleasure. Over the years we have watched God move in our lives as well as our daughter’s, he is always faithful. To see people that do not know of God’s unconditional love, tears at my heart.

 While waiting for their blood tests, Todd and Clay visited about when they were young and living in Nevada. Clay looks like a completely different person than when we last saw him. The disease that is steeling Clay’s life is working overtime not only on his body but his mind. The med’s he is on almost fight against him in some areas; sometimes he seems so clear and then an hour or two he has a whole other personality. Seeing
Linda and Clay was a bittersweet, so good to see our friends again, but so hard to see Clay so sick physically, mentally and spiritually.  Linda is worn out and yearns for Clay to be the whole spiritually and physically. I see Linda going through this and I am sad that she has been so lonely for so long.  Linda and I got to visit a lot about the past 25 years. I pray that she will grow through all this and trust God for healing in her husband and her marriage.

The Stanford Hospital is huge, people coming and going all the time and as Todd and I sit and wait for our appointment it gave us time to visit with each other. He loves to give me a hard time and I love to give it back!

 Something about me telling him to guard my purse and him saying that if someone could pack it they should be able to have it.
Funny Man.......

 

 

 We observe people  walking by and wonder if they know God, if they have chosen His gift. What are  these people going through? Are they sick, dying, or lonely or are they here  for their loved one?

Todd gets calls from his work even when we are gone. He loves his job at the INL and the people that work for him really respect him. His job is a blessing and they call him the Preacher there. 

 

After Todd had his blood banking, we decided to walk a bit
and maybe see the motel that I will be staying at while Todd is in the hospital…….well we didn’t make it all the way there, Todd started get a little cold and then weak and then nauseous so we stopped at the end of the mall for a cup of soup and a ½ a sandwich. Then back to the motel for a nap. It was good for him to rest.

Clay and Linda wanted to take us to a hamburger joint; even
though we weren’t hungry we went to spend time with them. Then after that we went for a long walk and it turned off cold and we had to call the motel car to come to our rescue.

 

 

 

 

The next day we were packed and ready for the “Super Shuttle”
to take us to the airport. We were anxious to get home. Out flight was from San Francisco to LAX and a couple hour layover and then on to Salt Lake City and another two hour layover.

 

 While we were at the Salt Lake Airport Todd did his studies and I had to walk….to keep from falling in a heap.

 

It was 11:30 p.m. when we got off the plane in Idaho Falls and we were even glad to see the snow and feel the chill. Our great friend Tony had the car there waiting for us, Praise God for awesome friends. We climbed into the car and went to the motel; we knew we couldn’t make it home that night.  We got up eager to go home and as we come over the hill into this little valley that we call home, we knew that God is working in this everyday life.