When I am driving or waiting for an appointment and just have a few minutes to be still and think. I often think about the fact that God knows my every thought, good or bad, positive or negative, selfish or unselfish. To be honest I used to not have the most positive thoughts. Like if I would get frustrated with something or someone, I struggled with the self-control to not let these thoughts frustrate me. In turn these negative thoughts would sour my words with negativity. God's word tells me that the over flow of the heart the mouth speaks, Matthew 12:34.God knows my heart he knows the intent of it. I thought about this for a long time and knew that if I sincerely want to be a light I have to control my thoughts, when I have a bad thought I have to turn it over to the Lord and focus on the unconditional love he shows me and that I must show others. I can hate the sin but love the sinner through Christ. I pray that God will make me mindful of my thoughts and rather they were uplifting and encouraging. So I am more aware of what is on my mind these days. Are you aware of what you are thinking? When something or someone wrongs you do you have bitterness? Make it your goal each day, as we all should, to have good encouraging thoughts that build up rather than tear down. Pray that you will be convicted if you start to have ugly thoughts that don't glorify God. Rest assured that every time we do what is right even though it feels wrong we are growing and that is where we need to be in our everyday lives.
We all have experiences in our past that we wished had never happened, either because of someone or our own stupid actions. But now I am thankful for all the hard times, the ones from my past and the ones to come, God has, is and will use them to shape, mold and mature me to who he needs me to be. I know that this process takes a life time. I am His and nothing happens to me that He isn't aware of. I think back now on the years of our struggles, I mean you can't be married for almost 31 years without a few dark times. But I know now that God has used and is using them all, even the really really ugly ones, for my growth and His glory. Our past trials and blessings have taught me that I can Trust God for His best. I can trust him to provide for all my needs. I know He will..... I've seen him do it. But know this.......He knows my needs and your better than we do. I can see now that what I thought I needed and did not get........ was better to go without and wait on Him to provide what I really do needed. My needs tend to lean more toward physical needs and what He has in store for me usually is for my spiritual growth, and that is where I am wanting to be. I love His timing and watching his hand in my life and the lives of my family. Everything we have been through and are going through and will go through will bring us to where He wants us to be. He gives us opportunities to share and encourage other people, and in those moments that he uses me, I know that all my struggles, all my sleepless nights, and all my tears will be used to bring him Glory. Just to know that He can use me brings me joy - joy in this everyday life.
