Count it all Joy

James 1:2-8

My brethren,  count it all joy when you fall into various trials,  knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience.  But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete,
lacking nothing. If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of 
God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to  him.  But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for he who 
doubts is like a wave of the sea driven and tossed by the wind.
For let not that man suppose that he will receive anything from the Lord;
he is a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways.

Last week I had a really bad day, not your everyday really bad day, but a sharp, snaggily, venom filled bad day. I was sure after this incident that I was nothing but worthless scum, no wait what is lower than scum……..well whatever that was me, and I was sure of it. Well it is not true, it is not true of me and it is not true of anyone. That is just one of Satan’s lies he uses to pull me and you down, and he works through different people and situations to do it. I fall for his schemes from time to time like when I am tired or anxious. Yeah, I allow Satan’s attacks to beat me down and the only thing that can stop it is getting into the word, focusing on God, abiding in him presents.

As a daughter of the King, I am worth everything, he cares about what I care about no matter how small.  I  am His.   By casting out every thought unto the obedience of Jesus Christ and by His grace I was able to 
stand up straight, forgive this person who wounded me and continue to press on toward the goal. I am so thankful for God’s unconditional Grace, Love and Mercy and that is what I must give to others, I do not hit it right on all the time, but he knows my heart and the intent thereof. So as I learn, grow and abide, I will count these trails and snares as Joy for the testing of my Faith produces fruit that can only come from abiding in God in this everyday life.

This last week has been an emotional roller coaster. The transplant has been once again postponed.

And Todd and I are weary from the past 7 days. Our youngest daughter and her 3 year old little girl moved to Boise this weekend. She starts her new job on the 6^th of April. So proud of her.

We got to see our oldest daughter and family, for a day. Paul is 3 years old and Bill is 1, they are hysterical. They are growing so fast. It is hard to see them once in a while but our lives have been so upside down for the past 6 months, we have no choice.

Our goal is to be able to go to Boise more often; we’ll see how that works out. 

Todd and I left for Idaho Falls for a little get away that turned into an overnight stay. Todd picked out new glasses that weren’t dorky safety glasses and I exchanged my frames for something a little less “Jane Jetson” looking. I’ll pick them up next Friday.

 We went to Dinner at Jaker’s and then a couple of movies…..Lincoln Lawyer and True Grit. Slept in
till 7:30 and then got up and got our groceries. We enjoyed visiting and laughing and just walking through the mall: yeah I said Mall. Todd got a watch for getting 2 A’s in his schooling. Now I have a time update every 3-5 minutes. Idn’t that precious?! J

We are heading to Sun Valley today for a Stauffer Family get together. It will be nice to see some of my favorite aunts and uncles.

In the back of my mind I still have these emotional thoughts and prayers for Clay and Linda. I pray for God’s grace and his will for the days ahead for us all. I have to trust that God has what is best for us all planned for the days ahead. So Todd and I will continue to press on each day and stand ready for whatever God has for us in this everyday life.



Yes-No-Stop-Go!

 

Aren't they amazing, these tests and trails we are given? Yes, I said given. Handed to us for a chance to grow, mature, and strengthen our walk and relationship.

 This past week we had a heart breaker when Clay's MELD score rose to 26; 6 points above the level for a donor transplant. We were crushed and broken and it took us right to our knees looking to God for answers and peace and His will. It seemed like all Todd and I could do was pray and just be; do you know what I mean, When just being in the same room with each other is a comfort?  

It was only about 3 days but it seemed like 30. We petitioned all our prayer warriors to pray for God's will and the grace to endure each day for Clay, Linda, Todd and myself, and sure enough He showed Himself to be our Sovereign Lord and Clay's levels dropped; not just a slow steady decline, oh no, God dropped it 8 points!!! That's just the way He works.   

So here we are re-packed, re-scheduled and re-aligned; not that we had given up, we just thought it would be another week or two more before we headed to Stanford University Hospital. Even though we have not had the hard and fast direction of the Head Surgeon, we are prepared and waiting patiently, (ok, as patiently as I can) for the nod to load. I know that God's timing in this is the most crucial part, this journey from the start has been on God's terms, in God's time and in God's hands and Todd and I wouldn't have it any other way. This isn't just to refine Todd and Jackie and our daughters and Clay and Linda, but to all of the friends and families who are praying for us and all the people who we come in contact with; the people whose names we will never remember but heard the story of how God brought this all together. In His divine wisdom and Love, God brought two men back together that He may be glorified by the maturing of one's faith and the beginning of  the other's.

So we will just continue to take each day as it comes to us and praise the Lord for all of his grace, mercy and His precious unconditional love in the journey  He has for this everyday life.

 

Under Attack

How is it the more we pray and focus on glorifying God with our actions and our decisions the more Satan works overtime to trip us and tempt us to have a melt down, not one of your garden variety melt downs, a good old country girl fall apart….and trust me I am so qualified for this event!

I know that everyday I have to purpose to keep my focus on God and trust him, but oh boy there is about two times a day that I battle it. I battle the thoughts of fear, doubt and frustration. I really am tying to be strong. But at times the what-ifs get to me. Satan is such a pig.

Yeah, you heard me!

Clay has been getting worse and that is so emotional for us all. I pray for Linda, always, and try to be an encouragement to her. Clay and Linda are in Stanford now and will remain there.

I am marking off the days; each day has its own list. My lists make me laugh, whatever I don’t get done on one day, those items rolls to the next, yep, by the last day I will probably have a list as long as my leg cause I have had to roll things everyday.

We have done our taxes, signed the refinance papers (that was its own little fiasco) and Todd has done his last assignment in his college algebra. His final for algebra is the 25th and at that time, his 7 page finals paper for psychology is due (never know if I spelled that right or not). Todd will be taking all of April off from schooling, and will re-register (hopefully) when we return. He sure loves his schooling. In between studying and work, Todd has been trimming horses, hauling hay, and doing small repairs around the place. My awesome parents will be doing chores for us while we are gone; they are so good to us, and I know we will never be able to repay them for all they have done for us over the years.

Well each week or even each day of trials and struggles I know that there always something to learn, that is why I must praise God through these trials for it is maturing my walk, producing fruit. So I guess I shouldn’t try to avoid the bumps in this journey, even though at times I feel a fit a-coming-on, He knows my heart and He knows my needs and He is completely capable of providing it all. So instead, I’ll keep my head up and my focus and God and just watch Him work in this everyday life.

“When I am afraid, I put my trust in you.” Psalm 56:3 NLT

Another week gone by.

This past week Clay was put into the hospital in Alaska. His liver started to shut down and the Doctors worked continuously to get Clay's body to level out. I can't even imagine what Linda is going through, watching her husband laying in a bed that he may never get out of. Todd and I call as much as we can to encourage Linda and Clay. Clays mind is so affected by the drugs and the disease that He rambles on for hours about hunting and the days gone by.

I am starting to see the effects this is having on my husband, who is well known for his ability to not be stressed. It concerns me and I am now watching him closer and making him talk more about it. 

All of this causes me to spend more time praying for Todd, Clay and Linda.

This journey, I feel, will continue to become more and more stressful as the days go by. All the more reason to draw strength from our Lord and Savior. His ways are perfect and I will keep my focus on him each day of this everyday life.

San Francisco Trip # 2

What we are here for!

 

 

The flight to San Francisco was good, Todd enjoyed taking
pictures of the area he grew up….as we flew over the mountain ranges he could tell you right where we were. He amazing that way.

 

 

                               Pyramid Lake>


< Lovelock Nevada

This trip to Stanford University Hospital in Palo Alto California was another hard one; we had a lot of things to do, places to be and people to talk to. And God in His infinite wisdom always put someone in our path to witness to everywhere we went.  Sharing what God has and is doing for us is pure pleasure. Over the years we have watched God move in our lives as well as our daughter’s, he is always faithful. To see people that do not know of God’s unconditional love, tears at my heart.

 While waiting for their blood tests, Todd and Clay visited about when they were young and living in Nevada. Clay looks like a completely different person than when we last saw him. The disease that is steeling Clay’s life is working overtime not only on his body but his mind. The med’s he is on almost fight against him in some areas; sometimes he seems so clear and then an hour or two he has a whole other personality. Seeing
Linda and Clay was a bittersweet, so good to see our friends again, but so hard to see Clay so sick physically, mentally and spiritually.  Linda is worn out and yearns for Clay to be the whole spiritually and physically. I see Linda going through this and I am sad that she has been so lonely for so long.  Linda and I got to visit a lot about the past 25 years. I pray that she will grow through all this and trust God for healing in her husband and her marriage.

The Stanford Hospital is huge, people coming and going all the time and as Todd and I sit and wait for our appointment it gave us time to visit with each other. He loves to give me a hard time and I love to give it back!

 Something about me telling him to guard my purse and him saying that if someone could pack it they should be able to have it.
Funny Man.......

 

 

 We observe people  walking by and wonder if they know God, if they have chosen His gift. What are  these people going through? Are they sick, dying, or lonely or are they here  for their loved one?

Todd gets calls from his work even when we are gone. He loves his job at the INL and the people that work for him really respect him. His job is a blessing and they call him the Preacher there. 

 

After Todd had his blood banking, we decided to walk a bit
and maybe see the motel that I will be staying at while Todd is in the hospital…….well we didn’t make it all the way there, Todd started get a little cold and then weak and then nauseous so we stopped at the end of the mall for a cup of soup and a ½ a sandwich. Then back to the motel for a nap. It was good for him to rest.

Clay and Linda wanted to take us to a hamburger joint; even
though we weren’t hungry we went to spend time with them. Then after that we went for a long walk and it turned off cold and we had to call the motel car to come to our rescue.

 

 

 

 

The next day we were packed and ready for the “Super Shuttle”
to take us to the airport. We were anxious to get home. Out flight was from San Francisco to LAX and a couple hour layover and then on to Salt Lake City and another two hour layover.

 

 While we were at the Salt Lake Airport Todd did his studies and I had to walk….to keep from falling in a heap.

 

It was 11:30 p.m. when we got off the plane in Idaho Falls and we were even glad to see the snow and feel the chill. Our great friend Tony had the car there waiting for us, Praise God for awesome friends. We climbed into the car and went to the motel; we knew we couldn’t make it home that night.  We got up eager to go home and as we come over the hill into this little valley that we call home, we knew that God is working in this everyday life.

 

Oh How I Adore Him..

A couple of days ago, I was watching my husband, from the kitchen window, he was trimming a horse and then moved on to feeding.
Watching him has always brought me great pleasure through the years; as he was with our precious daughters roping the dummy or working with a young horse or even just petting the dogs. He has such a way about him. His walk is his own and I could pick him out of a crowd of  100 easily, just by it. The way he swings a rope, his laugh and his smile, ooooooooh his smile, just seeing his face settles me. I can't help but thank God everyday for Todd and bringing us together so long ago - and for all the days in between then and now that has matured him into the spiritual leader for me and our aughters.  He is slow to speak and quick to listen. He shares his testamony freely and is proud to do it. He speaks the truth in love and is not ashamed. He stands for God's truth no matter who may disagree. He is humble and soft spoken. Everything about him brings me strength to press on each day and to stand firm. As we travel on this journey God has brought so many people into our lives to share the love of Jesus with, which reassures me that God is in conrol and working in our everyday lives. 

Thankful for this journey

We all have experiences in our past that we wished had never happened, either because of someone or our own stupid actions. But now I am thankful for all the hard times, the ones from my past and the ones to come, God has, is and will use them to shape, mold and mature me to who he needs me to be. I know that this process takes a life time. I am His and nothing happens to me that He isn't aware of. I think back now on the years of our struggles, I mean you can't be married for almost 31 years without a few dark times. But I know now that God has used and is using them all, even the really really ugly ones, for my growth and His glory. Our past trials and blessings have taught me that I can Trust God for His best. I can trust him to provide for all my needs. I know He will..... I've seen him do it. But know this.......He knows my needs and your better than we do. I can see now that what I thought I needed and did not get........ was better to go without and wait on Him to provide what I really do needed. My needs tend to lean more toward physical needs and what He has in store for me usually is for my spiritual growth, and that is where I am wanting to be.  I love His timing and watching his hand in my life and the lives of my family. Everything we have been through and are going through and will go through will bring us to where He wants us to be. He gives us opportunities to share and encourage other people, and in those moments that he uses me, I know that all my struggles, all my sleepless nights, and all my tears will be used to bring him Glory. Just to know that He can use me brings me joy - joy in this everyday life.

Far Above Rubies.

Linda

A wife of noble character who can find?  She is worth far more than rubies.

                       Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value.
                             She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.

Proverbs 31:10-12

She is loving, humble, full of grace and peace.

She is beautiful inside and out.

She is quick to listen and slow to speak.

She is kind and giving,

She is a wife, she is a mother and She is a grandmother...

She loves her husband with her whole heart and trusts

God for His will in all this.

When we speak on the phone I hear peace in her

voice.

There is not one fake, phony or selfish thing about her.

When she says she loves us, I know she means it.

Linda is a gift to all who come in contact with her.

I am thankful to God for putting us together through all this.

Proof that he always give us His best.

Cause no matter what, through all this I will have a renewed friendship.

And no matter what God's plan is Clay will he healed here on earth or Clay will be healed and be home with his savior.

As the days come at me like a runaway horse I have more and more quiet time

to just Be Still and Know He is God and also know that through all this He will Shine, in my

in my everyday life.

Two Men

One man is praying for life and another man is willing to give part of his.

The two men have been friends for all of their (almost) 50 years of life. Their grandpa’s were friends, pals……… partners. Jake Baird and Charlie Fancher, if they were together, the boys were together. Now years later, who would of ever believed that we would be where we are today. One man’s grandson is dying of hepatitis C that he got from a blood transfusion when he was hurt riding bulls, the other man’s grandson is willing to offer his life to help.

Clay in Alaska, Todd in Idaho, miles apart but now, closer than ever; closer now because Clay has recently accepted Christ as his personal savior, now the friends are brothers…………..sons of the sovereign King, whose timing is perfect. God knew this day would come before either was conceived.

I am in awe of my Lord, just thinking of how even before time began this was God’s plan for each of these men. This brings me comfort now and I will cling to it for the rest of my days. Just as God has planned these days and how Todd and Clay will be a part of each other’s lives forever. I spend almost every minute of everyday praising God for the days he has given me with Todd, I try so hard to understand his will when I know that His ways are higher than mine,

He planned that Todd and I would meet almost 31 years ago. That I would accept Christ as a little girl in a small town in east Idaho and my husband and I would meet at college in Twin Falls Idaho, My husband accepted the Lord as his savior shortly before we were married. We were so young and in love and through the years and lots of trials we have grown together in our walks and we have seen the hand of God working in our lives and in the lives of our precious daughters. I am so thankful that Todd loves the Lord with all his heart, soul and mind. He is not ashamed of God, not even for a minute.

 I am so proud of Todd and I praise God for my him everyday…………..of this everyday life.