The Call

The call came in just like I knew it would, just like I had been expecting and yet I get got sick to my stomach to hear the words from Todd……”the transplant will be on the 30th of March”. I couldn’t breathe, I got dizzy and felt like I was going to pass out. For once I had no words....I had words but they just wouldn’t come out. My mind was screaming “please Lord make this be a nightmare” but yet my heart knew this was God at work……at work in Clay, at work in Todd and at work in me. This is actually "growing fruit" time for all of our family; I knew that the first minute Todd told me about the call from Clay.

The past 60 days, 1440 hours, 8640 minutes, have been a battle for me; a battle to not throw down the flag, to scream No Way, whatever it would take to call this off. But that would be taking control and that is not where I want to be and it certainly is not where God wants me to be.

There is no one, that loves, needs, or desires their husband as I do Todd. It has always been that way, even in the rocky, dark, stinking rotten days, (and we have had our share). We met on the 4th of October and were engaged on the 31st. Love at first sight is what people call it, some say there is no such thing, but I know different.

For 30 years we have been married, and our next anniversary will be spent in Sanford University Hospital in San Francisco, with me watching my husband recover from a major surgery that could take his life, but yet give life to another. A surgery that didn’t take my husband but a minute to offer to his friend. A friend who had called to share that he had given his life to Christ one minute and to tell us he was dying the next.

Greater love hath no man than this that a man lay down his life for his friends. John 15:3

I pray that all this will bring Glory to God, that we will be able to share with everyone we meet, the love of God and his gift of eternal life. I pray that through this I will be a light and that even though there will be minutes or even hours that I will be crying Abba Father, that I will lift up my eyes and cling to my maker, knowing full well that no matter how hard this is, I know...

that God will work all things for the good of those who love him, Romans 8:28.

You are welcome to share in next 4 or 5 months, but it will not be just another day in this everyday life.

One day at a time.....

This past was such a hard one, we were told by Stanford that it would be two weeks before they had and answer, so if you know me, you know I counted it out and circled the date that we should of heard from them. Well that day came and went and so did the next day. Todd finally got a call from Sanford late Friday; I was driving home from Idaho Falls when Todd called and tole me what they said, he was told that he was the best candidate for lots of reasons, mostly because he is alot bigger than Clay and 40% of Todd's liver would give Clay a good sized piece of liver to start with. This news made me proud of my husband, but yet a chill of fear came over me once again that reminded me of the day Clay called Todd and he offered to be tested. But I quickly started thinking of how this whole thing would bring Glory to our King and how He promises to work all things for our good, my Lord knows how much I love and need my husband; as well as our daughters and their husbands and our precious grandbabies, and I remembered that God is still in control and we are to be obedient and trust him completely, in the good and the hard times we must praise him always. That is what I will continue to do one day at a time in this everyday life.

Is the week over yet?

This past week has been a doosey. The days were packed with catching up at work and home, wondering if Todd will be the candidate for the liver donation for his friend Clay, and getting the computer downloaded with all the programs it needs in order for Todd to be able to work in a program provided by Thomas Edison. He works for hours every night after work. I am so proud of him.

It was cold at the beginning of the week and warmed up toward the end. We were suppose to get snow but it just did'nt happen. We have atleaset 7 more days until Stanford has all the results from Todd's tests.

I just pray for God's grace for each day. Somedays I struggle so bad with anxiety that I am sure I can't make it through this. This is a battle I fight only with the strength of God. I must continue to trust him for our future. In deed it is in these times we do our most growing in our realtionship. Stay tuned for updates on this journies of this everyday life..

San Francisco Trip # 1

The Beginning of a Journey that will change our lives forever..

Wednesday January 5th, I went to work and Todd stayed home to study and take care of somethings at the house before we leave. He picked me up at work and we went to Idaho Falls. My good friend Tony met us airport and he took our car to his house to keep it while we are away; What a blessing that was;

 Tony is a great friend and he and his wife are praying for us.

We got through security 2 and 1/2 hours before our plane took off even though they giggled at our laptop being so old and heavy. It was nice to get there early and we were the only ones in the waiting area so we pulled up a couple of chairs and played..................you got it YAHTZEE!!!

It was cold and when we boarded the plane was less then 1/2 full so we were able to sit where ever and had two seats to ourselves. It took a long time for us to get take off and then twenty minutes after we lifted off we had to return to Idaho Falls because the plane had some problems. I was so cold I was about to cry, we sat in the plane for almost an hour and then they unloaded us and we went into the building for 30 minutes, at that time we knew we were not going to make our flight to Denver so they rescheduled us for a later flight, we were very thankful that they were able to do that (thats how God works) Some people were unable to reschedule, some were very upset and angry for the delay, that, I couldn't understand.

We were safe on the ground, HELLO!

we got to Denver at 8:30 and hustled, meaning ran clear to the other end of the airport to our gate.....

but we made it! Todd even let me use the restroom, yeah that is just the kind of guy he is.

We made our flight from Denver to San Francisco even though Todd and I didn't get to set together, he was setting right behind me. I was freezing still, I have never been so cold for so long.  We got off the plane and waiting to see our big brown suite case come around the carousel at the baggage claim, when I saw it, it almost looked like an old friend, funny huh? We were told by a young man I sat next to on the plane to find a "Super Shuttle" to take us to the Stanford Guest House 27 miles away.

In California everything is out side, like they think it is warm or something.

We stood out side waiting for our "Super Shuttle; at this time we have only met maybe 5 people who speak English. The girl at the Super Shuttle Stand was kind and for that I was thankful. She said lets hope that your driver speaks English and I was like ha ha, that's a joke....right? Yeah well, it wasn't; we got on our little van with 3 other people and our Czechoslovakian driver who, I was sure, was going to kill us. But again God kept us safe and we arrived at the Guest House in one piece; by 1:30 we were showered and in bed. so hungry but more cold and tired.

 Stanford Guest house

 Waiting for the bus to go to the Hospital, big day of testing.

 heading to the building for the CT scan

 Stanford medical building.

 College Medical Library

Thursday, January 6th, our first appointment was to check in at the liver donor clinic then we went and Todd had to have a blood draw at this time I jumped into the hospital gift shop and bought two lap blankets for our flight home, and then we met with the nicest lady, Aundrea, she pretty much puts all this together for the donor. We met with the two surgeons real nice and very kind and patient. Then the liver specialist and then a lady named Jessica, not sure what she was there for. But after 4 hours in the same room without lunch, we were worn down but Todd still had to go and have a chest X-Ray and a CT scan. I had something to eat and then we walked over to another building for his appointment. Then back to the cafeteria for a meal for Todd, boy was he hungry. Then we called for the Guest house bus and they came and got us.

We both had one meal this day. crazy.....

Friday, January 7th, our only appointment for this day is with the social worker, at 10:00 She was a good person and she helped us get some answers to a few questions we have been having.  I appreciated her. She was an older lady and I could tell she was sincere, when she said she was there for us.

After the appointment we walked and walked and went to a different cafeteria and found another place on campus to eat that was a lot better.  When we first got there, there was maybe 20 people there, we got our meals and sat down to have a nice meal and visit. In 15 minutes the place was so full we couldn't hear each other talk. We finished our meal and left for another long walk and then called the bus to pick us up. On the way back we wanted to stop at a little plaza that we have been seeing and was close to the guest house, but we were too afraid to ask, but get this, the driver pulled in and said, I hope its ok, but I have to pick up someone here. We said it's great cause we wanted to stop here. One of the many little ways that God supplied for us there. We got off and saw a Starbucks, a drug store, a yogurt shop,bank,  nail salon and Safeway market! I asked Todd if he minded if I got my nails done and he said sure, he wanted to go for a little walk. By the time he came in to the salon my new friend Kimmie was almost done with my nails. It was a fun time. We pickup a roasted chicken, some fruit and vegetables and started our long hike to the room....all up hill...by the time we got to the room I was pooped, I took a shower and tried to take a nap while Todd studied. We had a nice little picnic and watched a movie. We got up and packed and picked up at 8:00 for our Trip to the airport. We got checked in and had a meal, THANK GOD!

The flight from San Francisco to Denver was nice and when we landed we hit the ground running to our next gate and the bathrooms. It's always better when Todd has to use the bathroom too. :)

The flight form Denver to Idaho Falls started getting cooler and even though Denver had no snow, it was a welcome site to see the snow out the window as we got closer to home. When we landed the wind was blowing and it was cold but really there is no place like home. Well there you have it, the first leg of a possible long journey. That through the Grace of God, the prayers and encouragement of our beautiful daughters and other family and friends, was a success. Until we know the decision on the tests we will continue to press on, Trust God, and living this everyday life.

Almost home at the Denver Airport, still cold and hungry, so we share a nice meal.

The First Day of the New Year

Waiting on God

Waiting or being patient is one of the hardest things to do, it is for me anyways.

I am one person who likes to make a decision and then get on it and get it done; you know,

so you can go on to the next project or decision. ha ha

I used to be real bad at making a list of what needed done and just going at it, probably a good trait if

not abused. I have learned a lot of lessons in the 50 years I have lived and one of the most valuable lesson is to wait, I don't mean to be lazy and wait for someone else to take care of it but I am talking about obediently waiting on the Lord. Seeking His will, asking for His hand.

I have found that when I ask God for direction and wait on him, his timing is always best.

Sometimes he causes me to wait because I am not ready for where He wants to lead me. Sometimes I have too much garbage in my life to move on. We all have plans, dreams and goals, but if we are packing garbage like a bad attitude or disrespect or something that we have allowed to control us, then God will not take us to the next step.  We may have to stay at that frustrating job or in that situation we are in until He thinks we are ready for the next step. This past year I made great strides in getting healthier physically and spiritually, it has taken a lot of work, and some days I didn't do so good, but I continued on, one step at a time waiting for God to lead me where I need to be, and not rushing ahead only to find out that I went the wrong way. I will trust God for each day of this new year. I have such a long ways to go but looking back it is easy to see that through it all, when I was still and waited on the Lord the results were far better than anything I could have done on my own.

I am excited to continue on with this journey in the coming new year and I hope that you will stop by and be encouraged as I share this everyday life.

Cold day here is East Idaho...

The snow plow has just come down the lane. The water in our house started to freeze; Todd has gone to go start the heater in the well pit. This is easily one of the coldest days of the year, but yet Todd and I are enjoying our time together. I enjoy any time with Todd, we play Yahtzee and cards and laugh and talk. I am truly blessed to have him. Seems like I cherish him now the way I should have been all along. I realize this is a journey, that my LIFE is a journey and as long as I continue to press on seeking God's face, spending time abiding in his will, I am right where I am suppose to be.

So I will continue to be joyfull all of my days, (all of them) the best I can, and even though some days I will fail, I will start all over the next morning with renewed grace from my Lord.

Till Next Time, God Bless

Ummmm hello

I know it has been another month of nothing. I had and have great plans, in my head, to get up and running with consistent blogs to share my everyday life. About 2 months ago a really good friend of my husband Todd called to share that he has excepted the Lord and his Savior, can we get a great big Hallelujah!!!!! and then Todd's friend said.......I'm dying...............wow, right?

My husband said that we all would be praying for him and his wife and if there was something he could do to just let us know and Todd's friend said well unless you are O positive there is nothing more you can do. Todd then said well, I am O positive......we filled out 16 pages of Live Donor forms and faxed them to Stanford University to start the process of testing Todd to see if he could possibly be a donor for his friend. We fly out on the 5th to San Fransisco for two days of tests and consultation. The past two months have been a roller coaster of emotions for Todd, our daughters and myself. I wanted to be angry, upset, frustrated,even insulted about this and then God said to me "what if it was Todd that needed a liver?" I know that if this was my husband that his friend would do the same thing for him. We know that there is no greater gift than to lay down our life for a friend. I have to trust God for each day and that He will be Glorified through this. If my husband is the best possible match I will be trying to post as often as possible so that you all can share in this everyday life...

Stay tuned for updates....

How long has it been?

Seems like forever since I have been to my blog, things got so crazy for us and this was the first thing to get neglected, I hope to be back on track soon, sharing with you just a bit of what goes on in this every day life....
so stay tuned

Gods blessings.
jackie

"Just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so my ways are higher than your ways, and my thoughts are higher than your thoughts."

Isaiah 55:9

The past 5 to 6 years have been woven with, not equal but large amounts of trials, tears, and triumph. You would think that now that I am almost 5o, I would be oh so wise, that I would have answers to all the questions that my daughters could ever ask. HA HA!

Possibly the most important thing that I have learned over the past years is, that I don't have the answer to why people treat people the way they do, or why things happen the way they do but I have learned that sometimes you just have to admit it and trust the one who does, and know that He has our best in mind.

I know that satan is alive in the world and that he moves about searching who to destroy and I have seen first hand his works of the death of a child, the effects of how he works through alcohol, selfishness, pride and bitterness. I have lost several family members to his deceiving lying tongue of alcohol. Things have happened in our own close family that show me he knows no boundaries. Todd and I have spent many hours praying for family members who have stepped or pulled away. Which raises the question, would I have been on my knees if this wasn't going on? Am I drawing nearer to my Father? Isn't that what He wants more than anything, for us to abide in Him, seeking his face, meditating on His word? He is to be glorified and trusted in all things. Do we only sing Hallelujah during the feast? It must be in the growing, stretching, down on your face-I can't find the words to speaks times as well.

Thank you Father, thank you for loving me the days I am just so unloveable and the days I'm sitting right on your lap. Help me to trust that even though I don't know the answers or just don't see the why of it all, you do and that is enough.

Till Next Time, God Bless

Jackie

Romans 1:17

For in the gospel a righteousness from God is revealed,

a righteousness that is by faith from first to last, just as it is written:

"The righteous will live by faith."

I have had several people say things to me like:

what kind of a God would allow this to happen,

or why doesn't God fix this, or this is the one that

gets me; how do you know there is a God.

Mostly I say I know there is a God because I see him work in my life and the lives of other believers. I know He loves me by His work at Calvary. But mostly I know him by abiding in Him, reading His word, meditating on it and Trusting Him in that what His word says is true.

I live my everyday clinging to His promises.

I pray that you are doing the same.

I am continuing on with my journey of maturing walk with the Lord and better health.

Please continue to lift me up in prayer.

And in return if you have any prayer requests, it would be my pleasure to pray for you. You do not have to tell me the situation just leave your name in my comments and my husband and I will lift you up in prayer, for God's will and direction in your life.

Till Next Time, God Bless!

Jackie